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like I understand sports. I know how the game is played
and how to ALWAYS end up on top. Add to the equation
my incredible intuition—sometimes it feels like I can predict
the future—and a pit bull–like work ethic, and you have
yourself AWESOMENESS in a nutshell.
RULES OF AWESOMENESS #1
Look out for
Numero Uno
—that’s you!
I can only please one person per day . . .
and that person is me.
For everyone else, sorry, but today is not YOUR day.
And tomorrow is not looking good for you, either.
Don’t stress, though, because YOU, TOO, can focus
on you. Get it? Putting “you” above all others does
sound a teensy-weensy bit selfish, but
you’ll get used to it.
Come to think of it, pit bulls probably don’t worry
about being that AWESOME. I’m sure they’re very happy
just terrorizing mailmen, appearing in music videos, and
wearing cool spiky collars.
Not everyone appreciates this character trait. Some of
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