my classmates accuse me of taking myself too seriously.
But middle school is serious business. I work hard to put
myself in a position to crank the winning goal in lacrosse.
Or go to the state science-fair finals. If I’m not pushing
the limits of AWESOMENESS, then I’m not doing my job.
Don’t hate the player, hate the game!
Truth be told, my AWESOMENESS gets me into trouble
from time to time, but the benefits are well worth the occasional
black eye. My favorite use for my inexplicable AWESOMENESS is
when I wield its mighty power against my HATERS.
And there is no bigger HATER than my diabolical sister,
the Queen of Mean! She keeps me on my toes and is a
worthy adversary. But even Alexis, with her fake tears and
ability to lie and not crack under parental interrogation, is
no match for Jake the AWESOME.
For example, not so long ago, I decided to turn on
the TV while enjoying my breakfast on the couch. Alexis
doesn’t get to watch TV in the morning, so I knew she
would be angry when she saw me enjoying my ESPN. In my
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